You have to work on your relationship every day

In today’s culture, we tend to stress the big occasions. Large gifts at Valentine’s Day, Mother’s or Father’s Day, and especially Christmas become a point of emphasis to show meaning in a relationship. The only problem with this is that having 3 days per year to show how much you love someone isn’t good enough.

Love must be experienced every day so that it can bear and believe all things.

It’s the little things in life that show love. Opening a door for someone, giving up the baked potato from your meal because your loved one wants it or spending an hour watching a cop show you can’t stand all show love. Flowers are nice, but time is better.

It’s not up to them; it’s up to you

There are days when it feels like you’re the only one putting in work into your relationship. Sometimes,that one day of solo work stretches to feeling like a week or two. The truth is that a relationship might be one unit, but it is made up of two people.

People need space sometimes and that space sometimes requires a person to take time for themselves.

The goal is to love others as much as you love yourself.

You cannot love your partner fully if you do not love yourself fully. A relationship or a marriage will never last if you don’t spend time on yourself. It also won’t last if you don’t put your partner first sometimes. It can be a tricky balancing act but it’s an important one to have at the forefront of your relationship.

It’s not up to the other person but it’s up to you. You control what you do and you can choose to be happy. You can choose to love.

It is important that you make these choices every day so that you relationship can last. After all, the choice to stay in a relationship is also something you decide every day.

Communication must happen

Nothing frustrates me more than when my spouse comes home three hours late from work without letting me know. First of all, the kids are clamoring about when they’re going to see their mother. Secondly, the dinner I’ve made doesn’t taste as good in the microwave as it does when it is freshly made.

There’s also this realization I made one day: I was brought up in an environment where not communicating something like this meant that you were unloved.

We must communicate with each other to make a relationship last. Having too much communication will always be better than not having enough. I’ve talked about how it makes me feel when I don’t know she’s going to be late. She’s talked to me about how she’s not used to communicating these things because in her family, it was common to just come and go as needed and grab food when you had time.

When you have all of the information available, you both can make a better decision for your relationship that works for both of you. We have two nights where she guarantees she won’t be late so we can have dinner together as a family. I don’t take it personally if that doesn’t happen.

There must be a spiritual component to your relationship

I’m not going to spout some religious dogma about prayer, meditation, or the amount of time you spend in your preferred faith. I will say that the amount of time you spend together exploring your spirituality is important, even if you come from two very different faiths.

There is always room for compromise, but there is no compromise on the need for spirituality.

I’ve gone to mass and made a fool out of myself more than once. Apparently not being Catholic means you don’t take communion? Didn’t know that at first. She had a similar culture shock with my faith. What we do, however, is study our faiths together at the same time and ask each other questions that we believe are important.

• What does love mean to you?
• How can we come together to help others?
• Is there a way we can continue to grow.